The Roughwheelers
Calico Run/April 1995

As Dictatered* From the Campfire
*No, Jim wasn't there

On Saturday morning, we woke up. Rooster didn't show up because he was afraid Carol and Diane were going to kick his ass! Wooden Eye... Wooden Eye! Ketchup... Ketchup. Pickled eggs and beer... keep that Blazer warm. I drove a car. It's not a car, it's a Jeep. How much damage did he do to his truck. Be cautious for sand snakes. There's too many sand snakes at Calico. I think they follow the Roughwheelers around. You just broke my chair. Hey Andy. your bottle's over there on the floor. I just set it there so I could find it. Fig Newtons? You know what they make you do? They make you SHIT. Five different kinds of Tequila. No, I think there's six kinds. Bran cookies make you shit too. We're so obsessed with shit... Crunch bird my ass! Ketchup. My kid now thinks that when you say "ketchup" you stomp your feet and say ketchup. Lady Lee, Fig Newtons and Albertson's Tequila! Don't forget to say that Hector puts Albertson's Tequila in Jose Quervo bottles when he makes his Margaritas. Whooooa Big Fellow. Uuugh, buffalo cum. How do you know. Face sticky... How do you like the little flyer's in the newsletter. What flyers? Don't you get a stinking newsletter? Ketchup... Wood Eye, Chitos! I'll keep my eye out for you sonny. They're all sitting there in their motor home. They think the Roughwheelers are rowdy. We are not. We pray before dinner... We say a f--kin' prayer. The name of our god appears to be Oh Shit! "Thank you very much, really enjoy your club, especially Montero!" We got stuck. Bobbo, bobbo. I drove. Little Moe went slow. That's cause my husband was on my ass. But I drove well. I drove slow but Diane was up my ass all day. I heard him say "Dear, you did a nice real good job." Okay Steve, was that good? I put my hand out on purpose. I was gauging it. Oh Andy, how could you do it? Look, Ginny, they came to get me. They're coming to get me, ha ha. They're coming to take me away, ha ha. Point to your head and say a two letter abbreviation for mountain... Mtn... I said TWO letters! Did you ask him "Do you want to go camping?" "If you, me, Keith, Hector, etc. were to go camping one weekend. Just the guys... Would you tell anybody?" I'd tell my girlfriend. YOU'RE suppose to say NO! Do you have any holes in you underwear. No. Then how do you get your legs in them? How'd you get the orange underwear? From eating Chitos. This is going to be about everybody's dents except xxxxxxx's. Keith got a flat tire, and so did Bobbo. Victor got a hole in his pumpkin. We were smokin'. It was a five minute tire change. Chris-TA, Chris-TA. TA, TA. What a man. Andy ate the worm.

Editors note: The above report of depraved rantings and ravings are from the members of the Roughwheelers around a normal campfire.