November 97 Volume 2.0

The Turkey Times


The Roughwheelers that were really eager to be in the desert started arriving as early as five days before the start of the scheduled festivities. The Telenkos, the Hernandez group, the Hughes and Williams campers, the Hallgren squad, and the Bobbo and B. gathering all were in camp over the weekend. Piles of firewood, big appetites and no attitudes were the order of the day.

As the week went on, everybody else drifted in, at all hours of the day and night. The Bogarts, Grahams, Sandovals, Longs (twice times!), Griffins, Johnstons, Marzullos, Rafterys, Gages, and Montegos, Overman, Nelson, Pollock and guests all eventually arrived.

The week was spent doing as little as possible, with a little local 4-wheeling, target practice, hiking, horseshoe throwing, bull throwing and jest plain ol' relaxing being the major activities.

Six large turkeys and associated taters, gravy, yams, assorted pies, and all the fixins' were devoured by over 50 Roughwheelers and guests at the annual Thanksgiving feast. The master chef, Toni Telenko and her chief assistant David, prepared a feast that was hailed by all. While the feast would not have been a success without the assistance of the entire group, full credit has to be given to the Telenkos for their hard work, excellent planning, and superb cooking. Well Done guys, truly the best one yet!!

In ANOTHER stunning upset, the team of Overman and Telenko defeated the reigning champions, Hughes and Graham, in seven straight matches of the Grave Wash Horseshoe Championship.

Even a brand new venue, with an almost-level pit, didn't seem to help. In post-game interviews, the winners bragged about their superior playing skills as being the winning factor, and this may well be true, but this writer has heard rumors of a practice pit being put to use in the last year. This is an unsubstantiated rumor, however, so we won't mention it anymore.

The most likely reason is simply that the final game was played under extremely adverse ( for the Hughes-Graham team) conditions: the sun was shining.....

Next year, it'll be in the dark. COULD THIS HAVE BEEN A REASON?

What were at first thought to be the lights of an invading alien force were later disclosed to be top-secret trials of the new POTGUN (Potato Or Two-lights GUN) missile system, a battlefield weapon that was designed be used to confuse and frighten the enemy in night engagements. It is apparently a development of the proven SPUD (Super Potato Utility Dispenser) system, which has proven in the past to be an effective anti-personnel weapon. In a prepared statement, the government disavowed all knowledge and attributed the sightings to the unnaturally large quantities of tequila that have been consumed in the same vicinity.

A modification to the proven system, the POOP ( Purple Offensive Object Pitcher), was also used in the same trials but was relegated to a backup status because of it's tendency to not perform when asked to rise to the occasion.

A method of preserving Jeeps from the elements has been developed by the Roughwheelers Product Innovation Specialists (PISers) and field tested with unfortunately mixed results. The vehicle that was chosen for this cocooning, a bad-ass orange CJ-7, is owned by the club's fearless leader.

The Saran-wrapped Jeep was truly a work of art, appreciated by all , and obviously was immune to the blowing sand and rain. A slight problem was noticed, however, when the owner tried to get in. In fact, he was overheard saying something to the effect of "stink bomb, or skunk, or rotten oranges or.... revenge will be mine!"

It was reported that a member of the U.S. Marines (assistants to the Navy) was injured while testing the top-secret POTGUN light launching system. It seems that he neglected to take the effects of recoil into account while launching the missile, but the doctors on the scene felt confident that he will still be able to have children.